Because sometimes reassurance is more important than the truth.
1. “I’ve already deleted it.”
When you’ve taken a hilarious ugly photo of them that you fully intend to keep for devious uses in the future.
2. “You look perfect in that, honestly, now come on, let’s go.”
When they’re taking forever to decide what to wear and you really don’t want to be late.
3. “You look absolutely incredible.”
When there’s no rush, but they just need a confidence boost.
4. “It wasn’t that bad.”
When they’ve done something pretty awful* while drunk the night before, and they’re kind of freaking out.
*Once it’s safely in the past you will take great joy in painfully describing to them just how awful it really was.
5. “Yeah I agree, they looked so much better when you were together.”
When your best friend asks whether you think their ex has got uglier since they stopped dating, but you never especially liked them in the first place.
6. “I heard they’re completely miserable; it sounds like you’re handling the breakup much better.”
Because sometimes reassurance is much more important than the truth.
7. “Can I borrow your top?”
What you really mean is: “Can I borrow your top for tonight, but then not give it back and keep it forever and ever?”
8. “You made out with [insert Person They Really, Really Would Never Want to Make Out With here].”
Just to see their reaction and take advantage of how wasted they got last night.
9. “Yeah, I hate them too.”
When your best friend has a new enemy but you don’t have much of a feeling about them either way.
NB. Soon you will genuinely hate them just as much, if not more, than they do – because that’s how best friendships work.
10. “Drunk calories don’t count.”
This is as much for your benefit as theirs.
11. “I’ll be there in, like, 10 minutes.”
Twenty-five minutes later, still nothing…
12. “I’m not going to tell you.”
When you have a great secret that you’re not supposed to tell anyone. You’re obviously going to tell them, but you just want to taunt them for a little longer.
13. “No, I haven’t watched any more episodes.”
Watching an episode of a series you’re watching together without them is the ultimate betrayal, but sometimes you just can’t wait, so you just have to watch it with them for a second time and do your best to fake your reactions*.
*You’ll probably get found out.
14. “I’m not that drunk.”
When you’re actually hammered but they’re kind of worried about you and you don’t want them to take you home.
15. “It’s fine – I wanted to go home anyway.”
When they do drag you away from the night out – but because they’ve had a bit of emergency and they need you, and you don’t want them to feel guilty.
16. “No, I didn’t text them.”
When they’ve given you specific orders to not have any contact with your ex – but they immediately know you’re lying.
17. “I’m never having sex ever again.”
When you’ve been fucked over and just need to rant/want their sympathy.
18. “OMG you were SO loud.”
When you hear them having sex and really want to embarrass them by making it as awkward as possible – because you’re such a great friend.
19. “Everything is going to be OK.”
For when you have no idea if it’s actually going to be OK, but you know it’s what they need to hear right now, and that’s what a best friend is for.
via – buzzfeed
