Self-compassion: being a better friend to yourself

Self-esteem, self- awareness, confidence, and empathy are some of the words society has been familiar with for decades. These words and others are crucial when talking about personal development and how to be better to others. We get taught that we should work on and in ourselves to become better people to us and those around us. However, we rarely talk about extending the same attributes we’re to share with others to ourselves.

Compassion extended inwards

Compassion is a mix of sympathy and empathy. In one, you feel for the difficulty in which a person is experiencing walking in their shoes and the other you do walk in them. In this space, humans extend kindness, patience, understanding, pity, sensitivity, and love toward the other but rarely extend the same inward. Think of all the mistakes you’ve made: missing a typo in an important email, snapping at a friend when they didn’t meet your expectations, getting an eavestrough installation request wrong after spending hours with your husband deciding; the list is endless.

When is the last time you extended patience and kindness to yourself after making a mistake? Did you berate yourself or did you correct yourself with the kindness that you would a beloved friend?

Self-compassion for physical and mental health

From a young age, we’re taught to be harsh on ourselves. It is usually either through criticism from others that we turned inward or through hearing how those around us talked about themselves. These thoughts are not without effects on our physical and mental health. When we comfort a friend, we visibly notice their breathing slow down, they relax, and in no time a smile returns to their face. In a case where it’s not tended to, their complaining of headaches, insomnia, fatigue, stress, digestion issues among other symptoms is deemed as an effect of their bashing themselves. The very same thing happens to us.

When we adopt self-compassion in our lives, immediately our wild heart rates slow down, and our immune systems strengthened. Scientific research by neurologists and others in the field also shows our ability to see life in a rosier hue increases as the areas in our brains responsible for pleasure become increasingly active. Overall, self-compassion is the road to improved mental health as you learn to soothe yourself into wellness.

The practice

One can go about being self-compassionate in their lives. Even what feels like a perfect day can have you feeling you made mistakes. In whatever day you’re having, actively catch yourself in self-negating thoughts. Once you have, step outside yourself and talk to yourself as a loving friend would. Do it right now, and notice the difference you’ll feel immediately.

What makes paid cloud storage worthwhile?

Cloud storage has transformed how we work and access our data. At the very least the convenience of it gets its loyal fans. A person can work on their computer and after leaving the house to pick up where they left off of your phone or tablet. The ability to be able to access your files from anywhere is perhaps one of the characteristics that make the times we live in what they are.

While this feature is convenient, there is a limit to it. That then puts a person in a position where they have to decide. A company researching divorce without a lawyer and where multiple people are involved in the project will need cloud storage if people are to access the documents at any time. Therefore, here we are trying to determine if one, even on a personal level, should invest in cloud storage.

The first step to knowing if it is worth the investment is through determining if you have a stable enough internet connection too. In that way, you know that depending on what you’re working, a poor connection will not lock you out. Another aspect to look at is how often you work out of the office. We can’t always afford to take our laptop with us everywhere, and we need more convenient ways of working around that. Therefore, if you’re working on documents constantly and are on the move, having a cloud account would make more sense for you.

The other aspect that ought to encourage someone to get a paid cloud storage account is the security aspect. When you have a paid account as with everything else, you’re able to get additional features. In paid accounts, the company that you select to be your partner can accord you measures to ensure that your content is safe. That is especially so for those who work on sensitive documents and need to keep them confidential and backed up.

The payment plans for most cloud storage services are convenient, and you’re able to pay monthly or annually. Therefore, if you have high-quality content such photos, audio or video, you’re able to upload everything. The free storage given is typically 5-15 GB. With a paid account, you usually get a terabyte or more. That is about what you get with an external hard disk. The difference, however, this time is that you can access documents anywhere. Therefore, you stand to gain more by purchasing cloud storage than relying on your machine to never crash or be stolen.

Training your mind to see what matters

 

Part of the power of storytelling comes from having a keen eye. There is an art in stating the obvious but in a manner that paints an accurate picture in a reader or listener’s mind. You might not be looking to become a storyteller, but having the ability to equally fascinate yourself and others and makes for interesting conversation. It is likely that you’re not as observant as you wish to be; how many times has someone told you, “No, that’s always been there.” When you pointed out something supposedly new to them?

Why it matters

Most of us, for a long time, have walked around life being content in the things we see. We tend to walk around and undertake tasks wholly stuck in our mental state, completely missing the oddities of life. We almost look at things expecting them to be there instead of seeing them differently each time. We only fully come awake in new environments, and how many of us genuinely have that luxury of always travel?

Being mindful is one of the ways to bring color back into one’s life. You could be going through a rough patch, dealing with the massive issues such as family services lawyer. However, taking a few minutes to observe what’s around you, free of judgment or even thought, makes the difference. It puts you in a mental space to become less overwhelmed by what’s going on in your mind. You’re even likely to get a renewed perspective on what plagues your mind. It’s no wonder people get advised to take a walk when they’re in a heightened state of emotion.

Become present to see what matters

Psychologists will tell you this for free- most people live their lives in the past or the future. Having an active awareness of what’s happening around you for most of your day forces you to be present. Also a quote, that same observation makes you truly realize just how much we aren’t taking a day at a time. From a personal perspective, it is almost as though you’ve wasted the present day, something that, when faced with death, you realize a gift.

Becoming observant requires curiosity to see what the present moment presents. You’re able to note and gather perspectives different from your own either from others actions or speech. As you’re in this space, you’ll begin to record your thought patterns and how you talk and start to critic why you do and say the things you do. Slowly, in this space, your self-awareness will begin to transform you and everything around you will also attain more clarity.

Finding and loving your authentic fashion

We’ve heard quote and saying all our lives telling us to be true to ourselves in all areas including fashion. While that sounds straightforward enough to do, it underestimates the era we live in where we’re constantly bombarded with fashion images in online articles, magazines, and television. From the Kardashian sisters to the Golden Globes, how and who the celebrities are wearing is constant, with brands continually churning out content persuading us to buy in.

Even in this space, there can be a merging of the messaging we get through various mediums and with who we are. A person working at a barber shop and another in the justice system can both find ways to look and dress the part but still, to the acknowledgment of others, do so in a style individual to them. How does one find their real sense of style in a world with so many choices?

They say that fashion is a form of self-expression. Let’s dissect that for a moment; it is a statement of who we are, but how can we show the world the true us if we don’t know who we are? Most people assume that settling into who we are coming with age, but you don’t have to wait for that to wear what you love. When you become self-aware, we learn to work around our insecurities and eventuate what we love about ourselves. One person may have a flat stomach and opt for tight or cropped tops while another chooses shorts or knee-length dresses to show off their legs.

Knowing who you make self-expression second nature and picking up what suits your fancy becomes a lot easier when shopping. You instantly know what works for you and when to give items of clothing that are not necessarily “you” a shot. Others may act as inspiration, but you go beyond their put together look to find your unique style. Apart from your renewed confidence, those around you will begin to note and appreciate how your clothes are an extension of your personality.

How do you get from the current predicament to what we’ve just talked about? We’re not asking that you go off into a long journey of self-discovery (though everyone is encouraged to do that), but a close look at you and your closet goes a long way. Step outside your body or get feedback from those around you as to what your outfits say about you and make necessary changes. Make the conscious effort to present the best version of yourself, even on bad days.